The fear of commitment..the fear of connecting to the person and losing them. There's an emptiness, a void that maybe will never be filled. I don't open these doors for just anyone. You will only see a glimpse. The pain is bigger than I can write. I sit quietly in thought. While you sleep, I'm tossing and turning. My brain won't let me sleep. All alone in my own. It's hard for me to let someone in. Explaining everything, it always feels like the first time. All my losses and how they affect me. I carry the pain on my sleeve. My emotions may seem as a kind of weakness, but the weakness is my control over them .
Regret is such a terrible feeling.
Living with these regrets while they eat up your insides. The ulcers of emotions. What do you feed this monster? Doubt and going thru the what ifs in life just seems to weigh me down. I just want to live a "normal" life. You see "normal" hasn't been in my vocabulary for last 10 years. So, How do I go about having a "normal" relationship ? ...Do I look for a "normal" girl? .....I don't think I know what anything is anymore. I only know me and what I'm capable of. I learn something new about myself everyday and I try to grow.
My dreams is all I have, and I don't sleep much. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe in myself. I don't feel I've accomplished enough. Even after everything I've overcome. I'm not satisfied. Maybe this is that void I feel. Always needing the support from family,friends and most of all... from You..whoever you are.
"All along, I guess I'm meant to be Alone"- Kid Cudi
Peace
Regret is such a terrible feeling.
Living with these regrets while they eat up your insides. The ulcers of emotions. What do you feed this monster? Doubt and going thru the what ifs in life just seems to weigh me down. I just want to live a "normal" life. You see "normal" hasn't been in my vocabulary for last 10 years. So, How do I go about having a "normal" relationship ? ...Do I look for a "normal" girl? .....I don't think I know what anything is anymore. I only know me and what I'm capable of. I learn something new about myself everyday and I try to grow.
My dreams is all I have, and I don't sleep much. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe in myself. I don't feel I've accomplished enough. Even after everything I've overcome. I'm not satisfied. Maybe this is that void I feel. Always needing the support from family,friends and most of all... from You..whoever you are.
"All along, I guess I'm meant to be Alone"- Kid Cudi
Peace
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